I stared at the page for what seemed like hours. Having not gotten much sleep I tried to blame my inability to have an idea on being tired. This had gone on for days. “Writer’s block,” I told myself. “This is what it feels like.”
Turns out it wasn’t writer’s block at all or even a shortage of ideas. I have pages full of ideas. I have things I am passionate about, knowledgeable in, and considered an expert on. What I had was fear. Plain and simple fear.
Seems contradictory that a published author would be afraid about a simple post. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones who writes a post, hits the submit button fearlessly, and moves on. I envy you.
If, however, you have found yourself staring at the page, or the submit button, for hours. Reading and re-reading what you have written only to deem it unworthy. Feeling that rolling in your stomach once it’s live and waiting for comments to come in. We are kindred spirits, and this is for you.
Not one among us has never heard the “to get over your fear you must face it” speech. We have been taught it since childhood. Riding a bike, the first day of school, any number of situations have regurgitated that message from well-meaning friends and family. Sound advice but how do you do it?
Write About It
Whether you are a writer or not, writing about your fear is the best way to face it head-on. It forces you to stop and think about what is holding you back. To write about it is to acknowledge it exists and then decide what to do about it.
Writing it down removes it from your thoughts. The longer fear is allowed to stay in your mind, the more damage it can do. Take it from your mind to paper and it loses some of its power. Fear likes to lurk around and camouflage itself in other ways. When you call it out directly it cannot adapt as well.
You may choose to be ceremonial with it by writing it down and then throwing it away as a visible sign of not believing it. Another option is to journal about it and then revisit it later to see how that worst-case scenario you were certain would happen, never came to pass. Or you can do like me and put it out for the world to see. There is no better way to stomp out fear than to just throw it into the universe!
Writing identifies fear and its root, but it isn’t enough. You must do battle.
Go to Battle
When I wrote my first book, I had all sorts of fear. Though it was my story and feelings on the page, I had to be careful how I addressed some of the difficult issues. Fear told me that it would serve to ruin already precarious relationships. It reminded me that no one would care about what I had gone through because I am just a speck in the world.
I started writing the book to help myself heal. When it was published, I tossed and turned for two nights because I was so worried about what people may think. Friends would read it and learn things they never knew. Relationships that were hanging off the cliff would fall to sudden death. I was sure.
What I found was that the worst-case scenarios never happened. I stepped out against fear and rather than losing relationships I was able to repair them. Every person I have spoken with has told me how much my book has meant to them and how it helped them to go through difficult situations of their own. The point was to help just one person, me. Had I let fear win and not published it, I would have missed the opportunity to help others.
If you cannot face fear for yourself, then do it to help another. You may never know the difference it makes but you can be sure someone will value what you have to say.
Talk to your fear. Yes, out loud. Even as I write this, fear is telling me it is an absurd topic to write about. It has no value and will only bring me ridicule. I’m telling fear that it has no hold on me because I am going to hit publish on this one. If for no other reason than to take away the power its voice wields.
There may be some who disagree with me, dislike my post, and make harsh comments. In an online world, people are brave. This is where fear preys on me the most. I am not so bold as to say I do not care what others think. What is a fact, is that if I let what others think to bind me, I remain shackled by fear’s control. I will also deprive another of hearing what may make a difference in their own life.
Words can hurt, there is no doubt, but fear can do far more damage than a comment in a vast ocean of opinions. Do not let your story stay hidden because you are worried about what some may say. There is someone out there who needs to hear it. Someone needs to know that they are not alone in how they feel.
Strike the Final Blow
You have identified the fear, called it out, and prepared yourself for what is to come. The last step is action. It cannot be avoided because it is the only way to win the war. Don’t overthink or overanalyze. Know when it’s good enough. It will never be perfect to you.
Do it! Launch the business, go after the promotion, make the big presentation, and publish the story. Put fear in its place by attacking it face to face. If you cannot hit the “go” button yourself then step away and let someone do it for you. My husband was kind enough to offer to do that for me, but I declined. I can’t win if I don’t do it myself.
Fear Fighting Toolkit
Don’t believe fear and the lies it presents. Use these simple strategies and send fear into submission.
1) Write it down
2) Physically tell fear that it has no power over you today
3) Do it for someone else
4) Take action
Fear is our nemesis. We will battle it many times in the future. Fill your memory bank with wins. The next time fear comes calling you can reminisce about the time you sent fear packing. That’s empowering!
The fact that you are reading this means I won the war with fear. I hit “submit.” If you can relate or it helped you then take it one step further and hit “share.” By doing so we have both helped another.